I am a newbie to this whole marriage thing, yet I have already realized there’s a lot more to marriage than saying “I do” and running off into the sunset together without a care in the world. I have loved more than anything taking on the roll of Luke’s wife, but when you put two humans together in close quarters, who come from completely different families and ways of life, conflict can occur.
Luke and I have found that doing these three things daily have helped us to keep our eyes fixed on God and our hearts fixed on serving and loving each other. If they resonate with you I hope you will incorporate them into your daily walk with your spouse and God and in return reap the benefits.
1. Start Your Day Together in Prayer and Devotion With the Lord
Luke and I start work at different times in the morning, but I for one know how hard it can be to roll out of bed and get ready for the day when your significant other is still snoozing in bed. The night before Luke’s first day back on the job after our honeymoon, I realized we would have very different morning schedules. Luke leaves for work at 5:30am and I don’t leave until 7:10amish, depending on what school I’m working at that day. This did not settle well with me, because waiting to talk to each other until 5pm Monday through Friday seemed like a potential roadblock in helping us build a solid foundation to grow our marriage on. Both Luke and I like to spend time reading God’s word to start our day, but I was sad to think we wouldn’t be doing this together the way I had pictured it. In order to not pass up that opportunity, Luke and I wake up together every morning, long before the sun rises, so we can eat breakfast while reading the Bible, journaling what we learned, and spend a short time in prayer together before he heads out the door. It may seem insignificant, but it sets the tone for our day and is something intimate and special I can do with him each morning. Most importantly, it helps us to grow in our relationship with God together. Not all of our Bible reading is limited to this, and I believe reading God’s word on your own is also very important in growing your relationship with Jesus, but I find our time spent in the word together has become very special to us and is so valuable to keeping our eyes fixed on God.
2. Pray Together
The power of prayer is incredible. PRAY with your boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, or spouse. Pray specifically about what is on your heart. Don’t be afraid to ask for BIG and little things. Put your trust in Jesus, not in yourselves. If you’re anxious about something, pray together about it. He will fill you with a peace that surpasses all understanding when you put your hope and trust in Him. If you received a huge blessing the both of you had been praying for, thank God and give the glory to Him. Praying not only will keep you connected with the Lord but it can keep you and your spouse on the same page when you share your prayer requests and praises, and follow up with prayer together about those things.
“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” -Ephesians 6:18
3. Read From an Inspirational or Informational Christian Book
Luke and I have found that the word “learn” plays an important role in marriage. We are constantly learning more about each other, learning how to meet each other’s needs, and learning how to handle conflict in a healthy way. Reading books by Christian authors on marriage, among other topics, is a great way to learn together about topics you may be unknowledgeable about. In order to keep our goal of reading every night before bed together, we’ve set the bar very low, meaning we aim to read no more than 2-3 pages a night before we fall asleep. That may seem very insignificant, but because we don’t feel it is too much to handle, we are easily able to stick to it. Reading together before bed has benefited us in multiple ways. First, it causes us to “unplug” from electronics or TV before bed and spend our last few minutes of the day solely focused on each other, our relationship with each other, and our relationship with Jesus. Second, it gives us topics from the book to talk about that have been relevant to our marriage and have helped our growth. Third, it gives us a set time to pray together before bed about whatever is on our heart. The book we are working through together at the moment is called “Ready to Wed” by Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley. It’s actually aimed towards couples who are engaged but it has SO much valuable information from a Christian perspective about what marriage “real life” looks like and different tough topics you may encounter in marriage. I think society has made marriage to be this fairy-tale dream that solves all your problems and while it is a BEAUTIFUL thing designed by God, in reality it can make life so much harder at times depending on how situations are handled. You no longer are just worrying about yourself. Marriage is about learning to think about your self less, serve your spouse more, and love when it is not easy to love. I highly recommend this book to any couple who is seriously thinking about getting engaged, already engaged, or even already married as it has an abundance of helpful advice that can be helpful to anyone who has marriage on the mind.
I hope these three daily rituals have been inspiring to you if you are looking for ways to keep God at the center of your relationship/marriage. Leave a comment below letting me know what stood out to you or give it a share on social media using the buttons below if you know someone who could benefit from these three tips as well! If you like what you are reading on my blog, don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t ever miss a blog post by yours truly 🙂